| 「夢かうつつか 春たちて さくら花散る そして、うちは戀に落ちました。 想う戀、忍ぶ戀、燃える戀、いけずな覚えないや」 | “Betwixt reality and dream/Passing spring/Cherry blossoms falling; I, with them, fell in love.1 An earnest love, a buried love, a burning love, a cruelty forgotten.”2 |
| 濡れた髪にそっと 唇よせて目を閉じて 涙ぐんだらあかん？ | Towards moistened hair Lips draw gently close, eyes fluttering shut; If moved to tears, would that be so bad? |
| 胸を焦がして追いかけた あやかしみたいに追いかけた いつか一緒に死にたいわ あゝ夢に操られ 舞う戀の花 | Chased as if a heart were scorched;3 Chased as if a demon; One day, I wish to go together with you into death; Ah, puppeted by the strings of a dream The petals of my fluttering love; |
| 風が吹いただけで 散りゆく定めなら 抱き合ってその日に燃えてしまいたい そして紅の色があせてゆくように いとしい人のなか灰になりたいの | If it is our lot to be scattered4 By the mere blowing of the winds, Then I shall want the day we embraced be ended, us set ablaze; So, as that scarlet colour begins to fade, With my beloved within me, I long to become ash; |
| 思いきれない侘びしさと 伝えそびれた侘びしさと うちが死んだら泣きはるの？ あゝ聞けば枯れそうな 片戀桜 | With the misery of overbearing emotion; With the misery of repression; If I were to die, would spring lament?5 Ah, if I asked, they would surely wither The cherry blossoms of unrequited love;1 |
| 星が凜と鳴れば 夜道を照らすから 想いはとまらない燃えて燃え盡きて こんどこそ逃がさない この身が消えても逃がさない | Since the frigid ringing of that star Began illuminating my nocturnal path, The thoughts won’t stop, burning, burning all to nothing;6 This time, there is no longer any escape;7 Even should this body vanish, still, there is no escape;7 |
| 「夏蟲の 身をいたづらに なすことも 一つ思ひに よりてなりけり これは古今集から戀の歌。せやな、うちも似たようなもんどす。 火を愛して炎に飛び込む夏の蟲。うちがそないな想いの炎によって身を滅ぼしたい思います。」 | “The summer insects/Compelled toward the fire/To perish in vain/Oh, the ardency of love –/‘Twas so similar to this!8 This is a love1 poem taken from the Kokinshuu.9 Indeed, I am a similar thing. A summer bug – adoring the fire, throwing itself onto the flames. I would like to ruin myself within the flames of such emotion.” |
| 風が吹いただけで 散りゆく定めでも 想いはとまらない燃えて燃え盡きて こんどこそ逃がさない この身が消えても逃がさない | Though it is our lot to be scattered4 By the mere blowing of the winds, Unstoppable thoughts burning, burning all to nothing;6 This time, there is no longer any escape;7 Even should this body vanish, still, there is no escape;7 |
| 面影に酔うほど 今宵亂れます… | Intoxicated10 by a remnant of you This evening, I am lost to reason… |
| 「戀の色ってなんやろね。秋の海に映っているお月さん色。 はんなり雪化粧、真白い心色。さくら散る散る思い出、乙女色。 うちは全部あんたの色に染めてみせます。この世の誰よりもあんたのことが好きどす。 たとえ世界を敵に回しても…そう、閻魔さんや神さんだってかましません。うちが守ってみせます。」 | “I wonder, at the colour of love.1 The colour of our venerable moon,11 reflected on the autumn sea. The colour of a sheet of pure, white snow, settling softly to blanket a heart. The colour of falling cherry blossoms, scattering memories of a girl. I will dye everything in your colour, if this would please you, for there is nothing more in this world I love than you. For example, if the world turned against me… Yes. If I were to become a demon king, a god – even then, I would not care. I will do what I may to protect you.” |
Footnotes
1. The common writing of “love” in Japanese is「恋」. However, Shizuru uses an archaic form of “love”, written「戀」, which feels a lot more lofty and antiquated. I’m unsure of how to translate this without losing the earnest simplicity of「こい」.
2. Shizuru here refers to「いけずな覚えないや」, which, translated literally, means “cruelty I can’t/don’t want to remember”, but I tried to keep the ambiguity and brevity present in the source. Strictly speaking, this has no subject or object, but, given the prior three clauses detail Shizuru’s love, this reads as if Shizuru is continuing to describe it. Her abstraction and her attribution of “cruelty” to her love rather than her own actions is interesting, especially in light of how she describes her “love” as a hostile force throughout the rest of the song, as well.
3. This is an idiom used to mean “fallen deeply/obsessively in love”. I translated it a bit more literally because I think it still carries that same subtext in English, and also because I think it’s a neat idiomatic expression.
4. Shizuru here uses a term mostly translated in English as “destiny/fate”, which, while not inaccurate, isn’t wholly accurate, either. She opts for an archaic form, mostly found in poetry, which is associated negatively with defeat and resignation; as opposed to the more common「運命」, Shizuru uses 「定め」, which has a connotation of inevitability that cannot be either fought or overcome. Thus, I chose “lot” for this translation, which I believe has a similar pessimistic negativity to「定め」.
5. This appears to be a reference to a poem by Princess Shikishi/Shokushi, found in the Zoku-Kokin Wakashuu and listed as poem number 147. An English translation can be found in the collection “String of Beads: Complete Poems of Princess Shikishi” (1993), a translation by Satou Hiroaki, at the bottom of page 77. I quote it here:
「夢のうちも うつろふ花に 風吹きて しづ心なき 春のうたた寝」When in dreams winds blow on fading blossoms, restless is the light sleep in spring
I believe them to be connected for five reasons: firstly, they both reference spring; secondly, they both reference the loss of the sakura blossoms – Shizuru uses「枯れる」(to wither), and Princess Shikishi/Shokushi uses「うつろ」(to fade); thirdly, the loss of these blossoms is attributed to the winds blowing, much like the chorus notes Shizuru’s and Natsuki’s ashes being blown on the wind; fourthly, in this song’s first use of this structure, Shizuru mentions being “puppeted by a dream”, and the sakura petals amidst which her love whirls; finally, and most interestingly, this is the same Princess Shikishi/Shokushi who wrote the infamous waka that Shizuru’s official online biography stated was her favourite – the “string of pearls”, number 89 from the Ogura Hyakunin Isshu. This poem also deals with unrequited love, much like Shizuru believes she does.
6. The use of「盡」in「盡きて」gives such a strong feeling of exhaustion, of being used up – Shizuru can no longer fight how she feels, but giving in is no less tiring. Rather than burning away any opposition, her love is using her as fuel.
7. As a result of Shizuru’s poeticism, there is no defined subject/object here, and so there are two plausible interpretations.
It may refer to Natsuki, and Shizuru not letting her escape. However, the lack of subject/object entirely leads me to think that the writer believed that the subject should be clearly inferred. In-keeping with the theme of the song overall, and as the previous line refers to “irrepressible thoughts”「想いはとまらない」 which are burning out of Shizuru’s control, this leads me to also believe that Shizuru is the one being chased, and that these same irrepressible thoughts are what she can no longer escape.
For the sake of clarity, the literal translation is as follows:
こんど = this time / こそ = emphatic / 逃がさない = will not escape
この身 = this body / 消えて = to vanish / 逃がさない = will not escape
I think the ambiguity and dual interpretation is intentional; I think you’re meant to read this as if Shizuru believes herself as much prey to her love as Natsuki is.
8. There’s a fascinating and insightful piece of wordplay here that can’t be communicated in English. For more information, and for my commentary on the poem Shizuru quotes here, see my translation at this link.
9. A shortened name for the Kokin Wakashuu. The poem referenced is #544. See footnote [8] for more details.
10.「酔う」carries with it a connotation of nausea; “drunkenness/intoxication” to the point of sickness and losing oneself, rather than a sense of false confidence and boldness. Again, emphasising the self-harming nature of her love, and almost removing her agency in her own choices.
11. Shizuru here says「お月さん」, which is a very proper, formal way to refer to the moon – both「お」and「さん」adding a level of respect each. There’s no real equivalent to these words in English, but I chose “venerable” as an archaic word that calls to honouring someone due to their age and wisdom.
Translation Notes
I knew from the very beginning that this was going to be a deceptively difficult translation.
The title sets the tone for the rest of the piece: the reading for it is given as “Katakoi Enka“, or “Traditional Ballad of Unrequited Love”, but the kanji with which it is written means “blooming flowers”. There is no concise, effective English equivalent for this double meaning… Much like there is no concise, effective English equivalent for Shizuru’s references to Japanese poetic history, nor her use of Kyouto-specific Kansai dialect, nor the pervasive feeling of poetic brevity in her language more generally (especially in the spoken segments).
In sum, this is a very Japanese song, fitting a very Japanese character. Shizuru is a noted fan of both enka (traditional Japanese folk music, the style being used for this song) and historical poems from waka collections (of which Shizuru has quoted three). Her most caricatured traits within fanworks are her fondness for Japanese traditional dress (kimono and yukata), tea ceremony, Kyouto-stereotyped passive-aggression (emphasised by her nickname of “bubuzuke woman”), and a very quintessentially Japanese dialect.
All of this is likely intentional. Thus, I translated Shizuru’s dialogue as being quite formal, articulate, and almost antiquated – including translating her idiomatic expresses literally.
I also attempted to maintain a poetic feel while balancing the ambiguity necessitated by that brevity in the source. This was not always possible, however, and, where it wasn’t, I opted to retain meaning over structure.
Narrative Commentary
For clarity, I will state that the following is purely commentary on the potential interplay between the source text and its ancillary material – that is, this song. I speak of my interpretation of the text as I read it, supported as best as it can be by the text itself. I have no special insight into the mind of the lyricist, and neither do I know if there was consultation between the lyricist and the Director and/or Writer of the show proper.
With that in mind, then…
Shizuru begins the song by comparing her love to “a cruelty forgotten” – a love that she, like the falling cherry blossoms, fell haplessly into. Common imagery, but, in the second sung verse, she reiterates this once more by claiming her love “flutters” like petals “puppeted by the strings of a dream”. Both of these excerpts hearken to a loss of control and a loss of self as a result; subsuming her in the face of feelings filled with such a dangerous strength that she likens indulging them to bugs flying too close to a fatal flame.
She ascribes to her love a great deal of agency, giving it complete power over her. It takes from her intentionally – it doesn’t merely accept her fall, it pushes her, and pushes with “cruelty” at that. It pursues her, “chase(s her) as if a demon”, and from which “there is no longer any escape” – which echoes the HiME festival itself, feeding off the love the HiME hold for those most precious to them.
These comparisons highlight her passive role; she “fell” in love, her love “flutters” uncontrolledly amidst falling petals on the wind. She is whipped up in something greater than her: sagging under the “lot” of the HiME festival, which dooms her through her love for Natsuki. She abstracts her own responsibility and positions herself as a victim to her feelings, rather than a free agent choosing how to act upon them.
This theme of emotions as fire is a consistent thread, tied together by the repeated mentions of suicidality. As Shizuru loves Natsuki, she would happily give herself up to ensure her victory, and, with her victory, her survival. However, that would require Shizuru to die, and, with Shizuru’s death, Natsuki, as her most beloved, would also die. There’s no future in which Natsuki survives.
However, Shizuru’s love isn’t entirely selfless concern, either. Much like fire hurts those around it, Shizuru is aware of how her love hurts Natsuki, and the song thusly straddles the line between the romantic allusion to marriage (“I wish to go together with you into death”) and the obsessive (“with my beloved beside me, I long to become ash”). The song ends with a presentiment of Shizuru driven to great evils, capable of any atrocity, as long as it were for Natsuki’s sake.
There are levels to this alleged awareness, though, visible through Shizuru’s self-perception. The extent of this hurt is obfuscated by the fog of internalised homophobia: Shizuru believes her love for Natsuki to be toxic at its core, because it is unnatural for a person to love the same sex. As her love is toxic, she attempts to repress it, forced to navigate both the “misery of overbearing emotion” and “the misery of repression”.
Her love torments her – no matter whether she allows herself to express it or not, she’s miserable. As she alludes to elsewhere, her love has a malicious sentience, having it “chase her as if a demon”, “as if a heart were scorched”… Scorched by the same fire which sends those summer bugs to their deaths: a pyre of emotion, “burning all to nothing”, “perishing in vain”.
All of these thematic elements culminate in Shizuru’s CHILD: Kiyohime. She connects to the titular princess of folklore, chasing down the unwilling monk Anchin, and, upon rejection, transforms into a giant, monstrous snake, killing him in a fury by crushing him while he hides from her from within a bell.
Unlike Anchin, however, the chase which leads Shizuru and Natsuki to the Church – and to their analogous bell – is instigated by Natsuki, not Shizuru, and culminates not in a rejection, but in an expression of reciprocal affection. No, Natsuki cannot match Shizuru’s feelings in strength – she is not capable of a love like that. Yet, still, she loves her, in her own way.
To conclude, then, the meaning of the song is clear: it is sung by Shizuru, about Natsuki, and about Shizuru’s feelings for Natsuki. It is suffused with guilt, anguish, self-loathing, and, underpinning it all, the belief that Shizuru’s love is a force made destructive by its homosexual nature. There is a theme of suicidal ideation, too, motivated by the knowledge that hers and Natsuki’s fates as HiME are to die, and that Shizuru’s love is what has made it impossible for Natsuki to survive. These two things coalesce to justify her perception of self – her lack of control over how she feels has doomed them both, and yet, so strong is Shizuru’s obsessive love that, even knowing it would ruin them both, she finds herself unable–perhaps unwilling–to resist.
Further Comments
A small thing to note is something which concerns the setting rather than characterisation:
「星が凜と鳴れば ・ 夜道を照らすから」“Since the frigid ringing of that star/Began illuminating my nocturnal path”
These lines imply clearly that the chime heard whenever the camera pans to the HiME star is diagetic sound – sound that the characters can hear. Though this is not specific to Shizuru, the knowledge that the characters are plagued not just by the looming physical presence of the star as the paranoia fostered by the HiME Festival intensifies, but by the sound of it ringing in their ears, as well.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls…